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‘Is it worth it?’ Moira opens up about sleepless nights, anxiety

Moira dela Torre performs during her recent ‘Tagpuan’ concert in Cebu. Instagram: @cornerstone

MANILA — A breakout star with her string of “hugot” hits, Moira dela Torre once questioned if her success in showbiz was worth it, in the face of the “toxic” and “unfair” judgment that she discovered came hand-in-hand with it.

Over the weekend on Instagram, the “Malaya” hitmaker opened up about a personal struggle she had “a few months ago,” and how that manifested in sleepless nights and being crippled by anxiety before her live performances.

At the time, she said she asked herself, “Is it worth it?”

“Is it worth it to allow yourself to be vulnerable on a platform like this — where you are seen not just by people who celebrate you but also people who don’t like you? I had to think long and hard about this because I had started experiencing anxiety before performances. I couldn’t sleep anymore,” she said.

Dela Torre, 25, did not give specific details as to what triggered her anxiety, but spoke in broad terms about how social media has “become such a toxic place that it’s been running out of grace.”

“People have become so quick to talk and so quick to judge, feeling entitled to speak their minds about people they’ve never even met. And that is just so unfair,” she wrote.

Moira dela Torre accepts her awards for Female Recording Artist of the Year and Album of the Year from the PMPC Star Awards for Music in September 2018. Instagram: @moirarachelle

The singer and songwriter, who rose to wide popularity in 2015, explained that until recently, she had only witnessed how judgment from the public would affect her colleagues. But now, she has had first-hand experience with that bitter side of a career in the limelight.

“I see my friends in this industry, trying to brave it through comments and rumors they don’t deserve, and behind the strength they show, I can see the pain. From watching from the sidelines to experiencing it myself, it is something you would never wish anyone else would ever have to go through,” she said.

A known Christian who actively participates in worship and has even penned songs for the Church, dela Torre narrated that she turned to prayer during that challenging time. She said she also found “a deeper appreciation for the people I’ve been so blessed with.”

At that point, “I asked myself again: Is it worth it?”

Moira dela Torre performs during her recent ‘Tagpuan’ concert in Cebu. Instagram: @cornerstone

“My answer is still yes,” she went on, “because all the more do I understand now that all of this is bigger than I ever imagined. I get to reach out to people through my songs and make them feel understood and loved and a little less lonely. I get to be a friend.”

“But most importantly, having lost hope and being found again, I get to help point people back to Hope. This is my calling. And I'm so thankful I get to do it with you,” she told her followers.

“With that being said,” the Star Music artist said, “I think I'm ready for a new album.”

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